Setbacks happen in life, but it is important to make sure that the setbacks don’t control your life and cause you to stay stuck in a rut. The most highly successful people have failed several times. Failure doesn’t mean that you are not successful or not on the right path. In fact, they learned from their setbacks and then used the learnings to teach others how to avoid them.
The media usually hears about the big-time success of people after they have made it. Unless they specifically share how they pushed through their failures, the public doesn’t know if they failed or not. The success is praised and others often try to mimic it, but the setbacks will creep in. Those setbacks after seeing a success can wreak havoc on the mind. This is where the comparison of achievements begins, but only one person has the achievement receipts.
Many are afraid of failure and setbacks can stop someone in their tracks. They may lose interest, start something else, become depressed, or have self-doubt, but how many will take the setback and learn from it? That is the most important thing about a setback; you must learn how to come back from it. Since childhood, many have heard that we shouldn’t be afraid of mistakes or apologize for a mistake because it should have never happened in the first place. This is untrue thinking when it comes to the real world.
No one is perfect, and we can’t avoid failures. Whether you fall on hard times or lose that multi-million dollar contract, managing the failed experience without becoming overwhelmed is crucial.
So, how can one learn from a setback and use it to their advantage? Here are four ways to overcome a setback and instead make it a learning experience from Nate Armstrong of Home Invest:
- LEARN TO ACCEPT THE FAILURE
When times are tough, it is hard to stay optimistic about the situation, but this is key for a positive learning experience. People often misconstrued positive thinking.. Smiling and pretending to be happy on the surface is not positive thinking. You must actually sit down and realize that this situation will not destroy you. Positive thinking should be used as an evolving tool when failure strikes.
Don’t go out of your way to set yourself up for failure, but face setbacks as they come with the aspiration that it is not the end game for you. If you can remember that the journey will have curves and bends along the way, then you are able to get through any obstacle and stay positive.
However, it is okay to have a moment where you feel disappointed, or upset, want to cry, or feel angry. Do not internalize the feelings.
As mentioned before, Nate Armstrong says not to hold it in. You should let out your frustration when hit with a setback. Take a walk, meditate, listen to soothing music, write it down, or go into an area where you can scream it out. This is how the acceptance process begins. The emotional surge you feel is only temporary and your mind will reset, allowing your brain to concentrate on bouncing back.
The truth pill means being unapologetically honest with yourself about the situation. Now is not the time to shy away from the truth of the matter. Many people will blame circumstances or someone else for a failure instead of being accountable and taking ownership for their part. This is crucial when it comes to learning from a failure. Reflect on how this happened. Try and pinpoint what went wrong in order to correct it. Don’t rely on a distraction; honestly confront the setback and own the mistake. Don’t let it own you or control your feelings.
- FAILURE CAN CONTRIBUTE TO FUTURE SUCCESS
Failing to succeed means you are continuing forward with your plans, but you have to develop new tactics to hurdle over any failures. You will make the appropriate adjustments to the situation quicker than before and will not dwell on it as long as before. Take in the information that was learned during the setback to create a different outcome if another setback arises.
A failure does not define the person who failed; it is a bump in the road and the person should keep moving forward. It is ultimately up to the individual to want to overcome the setback and learn from it instead of letting it deter them. The setback is only a temporary block, so remember to shift the way your mind perceives the matter. Become efficient with the process and you may start to see opportunities where others can only see failure.
Nate Armstrong is the Investor Relations Chair for Home Invest and leads a team of real estate investors in Milwaukee, WI. Nate works alongside his wife, Jenifer.